Thursday, September 22, 2011

4 Years Post Transplant

Thursday we celebrated 4 years post Bone Marrow Transplant for the boys. We took a trip to CHLA to visit the nurses and doctors that took care of our boys. Through it all I learned to be extremely grateful for my beliefs. Without Faith, I would have fallen apart. Without Prayer I would have lost my Faith and through it all I emerged a stronger and more spiritually grounded person; all because of two little boys. We continue to move forward with each obstacle we face with courage, or at least we try to.

Congrats my sweet little boys. You are SO loved!!! We made it! You made it!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The First Day of School

It's hard to let kids grow up. Anyone that says otherwise hasn't raised kids. The first day of school was a roller coaster ride. I decided I didn't need Xander's help and thought I could handle it all by myself. Seriously, what was I thinking? Picture this, me and two overwhelmed kids crying. Me, running from room to room trying to get each boy situated. Let me just tell yah, it was a nightmare! When I got home, and I never thought it would happen, but I cried my eyes out. It has never been so quiet in my home before. I felt so alone. I actually thought I would enjoy my new freedom, but the grass isn't always greener.

But, the thing about new situations is that it always gets easier with time. One day, you look back and it hardly seems like a big deal at all. It makes you wonder what all the fuss was about in the first place. Ethan still asks me everyday after I pick them up from school if I cried that day. I can proudly say that I haven't.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Keane's GREAT Faith

There are some "touchy" conversations I'd like to have a little later on in life with my children. You know, like the ones about "The Birds and the Bees." Ever since the boys had their bone marrow transplants, we were told there was a 99% possibility they wouldn't have children. That was hard news to take then, and harder still to think about how I'm going to tell my boys someday. How and when do you go about discussing this with your children?? Xander and I have talked about this and decided when they were old enough (say 18 give or take), we would have this talk. Well, that all changed as of yesterday.

We were all sitting around the table eating breakfast when out of the complete blue, Keane turned to Xander and said,"Daddy, will I be able to have children?" Floored, stunned, taken aback, and speechless are adjectives that perfectly described this moment for me. In complete elation, Xander handled it all AMAZINGLY WELL! He looked at me in surprise, before he said this...

"Keane, I'm not sure if you will ever have children, but you can always adopt children who need a loving home and don't have one of their own." Tears started to well up in Keane's eyes as he listened to Xander tell him of the possibility that he might not have kids of his own. Xander then reminded him, that with great FAITH, ALL things are possible. Of course, I was trying to keep my emotions from spilling out all over the breakfast table, but I just couldn't help it. The tears ran down my cheeks and I had to hide behind Ethan, who was fortunately, sitting on my lap. I didn't want Keane to see me cry over this because I knew it would upset him.

A moment of silence passed and Keane said, "Daddy, I have really GREAT FAITH and I know that someday Heavenly Father will bless me to have kids of my own."

Richard C. Edgely, said, "Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism.

A 1% chance to have kids is a daunting odd to face, especially for a 4 year old. But, I was grateful Xander handled it delicately. I'm especially grateful for Faith and the peace the spirit can bring. I know that with Faith, ALL things are possible. I certainly have 2 incredible miracles to remind me.